Leadership is Not a Title—It’s a Value
I’ve often talked about leadership not being a title, but recently I’ve come to realize why my approach is so powerful. It’s because I don’t treat leadership as a reward—it’s a value that everyone should have. This philosophy is central to how I view leadership development, and I want to share a story that highlights why this approach is so important.
There’s a 13-year-old boy I know who is a bit of a mystery. When he’s around adults or much younger children, he displays a maturity far beyond his years. He can engage confidently with adults in their 40s and 50s, carrying on meaningful conversations and offering thoughtful opinions. Similarly, I’ve seen him command the attention of young children, organizing activities and leading them with patience and skill. But when he’s with his 13-year-old peers, it’s a different story. He becomes disruptive, immature, and unable to focus. If you only saw him in these settings, you’d assume he lacked any leadership potential.
This boy was allowed to join a leadership program with kids his age. He was excited, but unfortunately, he wasn’t able to rise to the occasion. His behavior mirrored how he acted among his peers—disruptive and immature. The program director eventually had a conversation with him and his parents, pointing out that while he knew what was expected of him, he wasn’t meeting those expectations. The suggestion was made that perhaps he wasn’t suited for the program. His parents agreed, but I believe the issue lies not with the boy, but with how we define and evaluate leadership.
Why Leadership Shouldn’t Be a Reward
In many leadership programs, participants are rewarded or excluded based on their immediate performance. This creates a system where those who don’t succeed right away are left behind. But how can we expect individuals like this young man to develop their leadership potential if we exclude them when they fail to meet our expectations?
In my leadership programs, we accept kids at all levels of ability. This means some will struggle, while others will grow more quickly. But if we truly believe that everyone can lead and grow, then we must create a community where everyone gets the chance to develop, regardless of their starting point.
Leadership programs in most schools are often built around rewarding students with good behavior or high intellect. These programs tend to prioritize academic achievement or compliance, assuming that these students are naturally better role models and deserving of leadership roles. While these qualities are valuable, this approach severely limits who is eligible for leadership opportunities. By focusing only on the "best" students—those who fit a narrow definition of success—we unintentionally create a system where leadership becomes exclusive. The message sent is that leadership is only for those who are already deemed exceptional, which makes it difficult for any student to move in or out of that role. Once a student is labeled as either a "leader" or "not a leader," they are boxed into that identity, restricting their growth potential.
When we create a system that rewards only those who are already excelling, we fail to nurture the leadership potential of all students. It's much like sports—just because someone isn’t ready to play at a professional level doesn’t mean they should be cut from the team. They need the opportunity to practice, develop their skills, and build their confidence over time, even if they’re starting at a lower level. If we tell kids they aren’t good enough for leadership programs because they don’t fit the ideal model of success, how will they ever develop the confidence to see themselves as potential leaders? Leadership is a skill that can be learned and refined, but only if we allow all students—regardless of where they start—to participate and grow. By creating more inclusive leadership programs, we offer every student the chance to develop the resilience, confidence, and skills they need to lead in their own way.
True leadership development requires a growth mindset for both participants and facilitators. It’s about giving everyone the chance to learn, grow, and step into their leadership journey.
Evaluations Based on One Set of Circumstances
When students like this 13-year-old boy are evaluated based on how they behave around their peers—in classrooms, after-school clubs, or by coaches—the assessments are often limited to one set of circumstances. This narrow view overlooks other strengths they may have in different environments. For some kids, like this boy, their potential is stifled by the very conditions in which they are expected to thrive.
For example, when students were given the chance to run a program for elementary students, teachers were instructed to select only those with strong grades. This decision excluded students who might have excelled in a hands-on leadership role but didn’t shine academically. Students like this boy, who may struggle in traditional settings but have the potential to flourish in different environments, are often left out because of their troubled behavior.
But without allowing them to step into a new environment, we’ll never know what they are truly capable of.
The Emotional Impact of Exclusion
The emotional and psychological impact of being excluded from leadership opportunities can be profound. Students who are consistently overlooked may feel rejected, which can reinforce the belief that they don’t belong or have nothing valuable to offer. Over time, this can lead to a loss of confidence and a long-term decline in self-esteem.
In contrast, when students are included in leadership programs—regardless of their initial ability level—the results can be transformative. They develop a sense of belonging, gain confidence, and often rise to the occasion in ways that surprise even themselves. This positive reinforcement helps them build resilience and teaches them that they, too, have leadership qualities worth developing.
A Community Where Everyone Can Lead
By creating spaces where all students are allowed to lead, we foster a growth mindset, not only in the kids but also in ourselves as facilitators. We must believe that everyone has the potential to be a leader, even if they aren’t showing it right away. If we embrace the idea that leadership is a value—not a title or reward—then we can create a community where everyone has the opportunity to grow into their leadership journey.
Let’s make leadership about growth and inclusion, not exclusion and reward. It’s the only way to truly empower the next generation of leaders.
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